I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
