You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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