Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
