There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
