omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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