If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I need to sanitize my soul.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
