butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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