She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Holy sore nipples Batman
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
