i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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