Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
