What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
