Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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