The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
