we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
