I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
