Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
