So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
