Can i not drive my cunt home
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
