Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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