I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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