Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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