So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
