You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
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I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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