i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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