you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
