Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
