my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
