So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
