brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She's the barista slut.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
