So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
as a side note pls kill me
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