Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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