why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize