i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
