I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Shame - the story of my life.
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