Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
