he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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