I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
