you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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