Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
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This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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