he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
