Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
