Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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