Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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