I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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