What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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