im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
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Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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