Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
