Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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