Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
