what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
