i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex