Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...