I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
