i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
