All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
