Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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